Ten Fathoms Deep

For those who are unaware, Herbert is my 3′ Royal Python. I’ve had him for about 3 years, since he was a little hatchling. He’s lived in 3 cities with me now.

It’s interesting the reaction of people to him. The emotions range from terrified to amazed. I have to admit, I really don’t understand the fear response. He’s calm. He’s not poisonous. He’s only 3 feet long, He rarely hisses… Generally, he spends most of his time sleeping under a rock. Really not boring.

But I digress.

Sure you may say, “Asshole, He has no Arms or Legs. He can’t drive.” and you would be right. He doesn’t and that is inconvenient. However there is something I bet you haven’t thought of… HE HAS NO EARS! I can play the music as loud as I want, I can sing off key.. He doesn’t care. Not in the slightest. He flicks his tongue. Looks at me, and I can just see the thought in his head. “If you had Fur… I would eat you.” I can listen to NPR without anyone complaining they want to listen to music from the ’80s

I would swear that when I accidentally turned on Rush Limbaugh he smiled. Nobody is perfect.